A New Yorker called Donald Trump
With Latinos and Muslims, he had the hump!
For him all the Latinos were a bunch of druggies
And Muslims were a national security worry.

He’d flick his quiff and pick and sniff
While screaming firebrand speeches
The Muslims angered him so much
He’d go all pink like peaches!

“Don’t let an Arab in your house!
Don’t trust your local Muslim!
If we dignify their faith
They’ll burkafy our women!
They’ll build their mosques in our kiosks
They’ll drown us in Sharia
They’ll turn Broadway and Hollywood
Into replicas of Mecca!
If you make me President
I’ll neutralise the roaches!
I’ll exorcise these sand demons!
I’ll send them packing onto coaches!”

Spitting a rant in the Levant
Shook a gangster called Baghdadi
“The infidels will roast in Hell!”
He roared at his jihadis.
“We’ll kill them all, they’ll swoon and fall
Like subjects clutching our feet
We’ll take their wives as concubines
And make their men burn pig-meat!
And as for all those hypocrites
Who dare to call themselves Muslims
If they don’t offer me their pledge
I’ll cut off from them two limbs!”

The people flogged these demagogues
With public condemnation
“They’re so dumb, these Nazi-scum
They’re both abominations!”
The vast majority felt safe
And laughed at Trump and Baghdadi
These two men were rather thick
They’d turn into nobody.

But Donald Trump, who had the hump
And the plunderer Baghdadi
Still called each other’s worlds a dump
Still marched along, foolhardy.

And so bemused were the multitude
By the rise of Trump and Baghdadi
They stood dismayed one fateful day
When outside stood Trump and Baghdadi
Behind them flanked in rows and ranks
Their foot-soldiers all ready
“It’s World War Three!” Cried Trump with glee
Baghdadi yelled: “I’m the Mahdi!”
And as the bombs and knives and guns
Went crazy on the home streets
So bemused were the multitude
By the rise of Trump and Baghdadi.