I’d rather go to Medina
Than go to Hollywood
In Medina, there’s no Oscars
Or shining halls of fame
Instead there’s awe with Mustafa
And prayers at Qiblatain
I’d rather go to Mecca
Than go to Hollywood
Forget those hand and footprints
Of Cher and Steve McQueen
Near the Kaaba all in gold
Are the footsteps of Ibrahim
Instead of meeting Jackie Chan
I’d rather meet Ustad Gee
He could bring the big danda
And wave it like he’s Bruce Lee!
Instead of meeting Nigella
Domestic Goddess and Diva
I’d rather see my lovely wife
Coz she makes aloo keema!
I’d rather go on Itikaaf
Than go on I’m A Celebrity
Forget the jungle fun and games
In Ant and Dec’s reality
In itikaaf you can see your soul
And try some and chai and lassi!
I’d rather have langar shareef
Than have dinner at the Ritz
Forget the style and tuxedo
And charming Royal tea
In langar you have daal and gohsht
While sitting like a yogi!
I’d rather lead the asr prayers
Than project manage on Apprentice
Instead Alan Sugar’s wrath
And probably getting fired
I’d lead the brothers from the front
And do sajdah sahw if required
I’d rather do a khalwa
Than do a bungee jump
Instead of leaping like a hare
Into a vast ravine
I’d feel the infinity of God
And life would be serene
I’d rather do a prostration
Than argue like an atheist
Instead of crafting rhetoric
There’s no god but matter
In sajdah I would feel my nafs
And vain illusions shatter
I’d rather pray to our Allah
Than be a materialist
Instead of eating all my food
And scorning God or Buddha
I’d break my fast at the local mosque
They give you Kulfi Faluda!
Notes:
This poem celebrates aspects of the poet’s religious culture and cuisine against elements of Western, popular culture. My inspiration is Simon Armitage’s poem: It Ain’t What You Do It’s What It Does To You.
Qiblatain- a reference to the Mosque Al Qiblatain near Medina
Ibrahim: Arabic word for Abraham
Danda: Urdu word- stick
Aloo Keema: minced meat curry with potatoes
Itikaaf: spiritual seclusion and prayer in a mosque
Chai and lassi- Asian tea and yoghurt
Daal and gosht: lentils with mutton curry
Asr prayer: late afternoon prayer- one of the five Muslim daily prayers
khalwa: Arabic word for spiritual seclusion
Sajdah Sahw: prostration for error- performed when one missed an integral part of the daily prayer
Nafs: the ego
Kulfi Falooda: Asian sweet dish