The Foreigners Are Coming…

The foreigners are coming…

Changing our way of life

They come with their strange languages

Causing us pain and strife

Although I must just mention

When I went down to Spain

Most of them spoke English there

So that was easy on the brain

And when on our holiday

Near the hills of Kathmandu

A Buddhist man in a flowing skirt

He spoke some English too.

But the foreigners keep coming!

Changing our way of life

They speak all these strange languages

Just speak English, right!

The foreigners are coming…

With all their foreign dress

Some cover up their whole faces

Some have such hairy chests!

Although I must surrender

When deep in the Peru

I met a guide in a pair of jeans

And a t-shirt of U2

And when in old Morocco

On the beaches of Agadir

The men were dressed in Bermuda shorts

The women in skimpy gear

But, oh, the foreigners keep coming!

With all their foreign dress

Why don’t they wear our kind of clothes?

That would be for the best.

The foreigners are swarming

Upon our blessed shores

Bringing all their weird customs

And religions we abhor!

Some of them read verses

From their holy Quran

Crying out all through our streets

Their loud and bold adhaan!

Although I seem to remember

When I visited Bangalore

The kids were dressed for Halloween

Knocking on their neighbours’ doors

And when I went to Tunisia

Around the time of Christmas

I saw a bunch of Santa men

Chomping on kous-kous!

And then there was old Bangladesh

Where everyone’s in a hurry

A met thousands of Christian converts

Offering me some curry!

But the foreigners keep coming

With their barbaric beliefs

Why can’t their way of life match ours?

Now that would be a relief!

The foreigners keep breeding

In our green and pleasant land

Now there are more darker faces

Don’t you just understand?

Why did they have to come here?

And change our whole landscape?

Before the streets were full of Whites

Now they’ve vanished without a trace

But hang about, I remember

In the streets of dear Turin

Lots of White and English faces

The same in old Dublin.

And when I visited Jumaira

The beach of scorching Dubai

I met a white man from Nottingham

And his new wife from Carlisle

And I suppose there is Australia

And the United States

No white people used to be there

Now we’re the majority race!

In Saudi there are compounds

Where mainly white people live

They got their own facilities

So they can relax and chill

In Spain there’s lots of ex-pats

Filling up the beach-fronts

When in Rome, do as Romans do

So the English got their own pubs!

But the foreigners keep breeding

There’s more of them than us

Why couldn’t they stay in their countries?

Then for us there’d be no fuss

As long as they speak English

And we can feel their sun

As long as they wear shirts and jeans

And believe Jesus is the son

Then there would be no problem

We’d let them all come in

They can clean up all the streets

After our Friday night thrills!

But the foreigners keep coming…

Changing our way of life

Bringing all their differences

Making us feel such spite.

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