By Novid Shaid, December, 2010
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Oh Lord,
I cling on to the rocks of your sacred path,
dangling
over
the
bottomless
abyss
of
my
capricious
soul,
knowing full well I have stumbled
and lost my footing
on the firm ground of certitude and witnessing.
Truly, I have slipped
away
and fallen into disarray
since You welcomed me into
the Promised Land
Of Your nearness and knowledge.
Forgive me my dear Lord,
For I lost my focus on the centre
the kernel,
the key to everything.
Something caught my eye,
A puppet show in the supermarket of this world,
masquerading as a worthy distraction.
And I followed it,
twisting through the blessed streets and paths,
Until I found myself,
abandoned
beyond the safety of the city walls
clutching onto my shoulders,
with the mighty doors slamming in my face.
Then terrible winds thrust me in the direction of Hell;
And I suffered
feeling the remoteness from Your blessed space
exclusion from Your overflowing presence
which brings all created things into existence.
And now I struggle
hanging on to the rocks
which gives me some hope that all is not lost.
O Lord
I have truly faltered,
From resting in Your intimate home,
bathing in Your perspicacious pools
and picking the fruits of Divine secrets
in your prodigious orchards,
I find myself coughing up
the sods and dirt,
clinging on to a solitary jutting rock of hope
while the gaping chasms of my emptiness and desires
await me for their feed.
My errors have been lamentable and gross
My ingratitude unforgivable
But now I call on Your Benevolence
Greater than all the Kings that ever ruled the land and sea
Help me up again O Lord,
Give me the strength
to climb up this godforsaken precipice.
And grant me
An opportunity
to make some recompense
to plead for Your forgiveness
make me a permanent resident, O Lord
A true patriot
An established citizen
Admit me once again, O Lord,
Into Your promised land
Where one truly understands Your Loving Grace,
Where one truly realises
that nothing in this whole universe, ever,
can compensate
for the infinitely intoxicating and sobering vision
of Your Face.